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(Svenska är inte mitt första språk men du kan svara ändå på svenska, snälla!)

Hi, I'm a 19 years old guy and studying my third year of "Gymnasium", High school. Both of my parents moved with my younger sister to Turkey in July and they have been living there since then.

I was very anxious about living with my older brothers alone, since I was physically abused in the past many times and I have been emotionally attacked by my family countless times. Me and my brothers have had a few arguments since my parents left... But before my parents left (July), I tried to tell them that do not want to live alone with my older brothers and I need my own apartment/studio or just the smallest room ever because I wanted to avoid fighting my brothers and wanted to focus only on my studies. They understood why I said that and promised to make sure I have my own apartment before they move out. Later on, I didn't get help from my parents at all... and they even blamed me for "not searching enough" for available apartments, even though I had my exams for my second year at Gymnasium at the time and it would have been my first time moving out... and so, in the end, I just accepted that I'm going to start living with my older brothers because I had no other choice.

I also made it extremely clear to my parents that I do not want to financially depend on my brothers at all, it is not their responsibility to provide me with anything.

And so my parents said and promised me that they will send me a 3000kr allowance each month, and it worked fine later on (Even though there were a few months I got 2000kr only instead. Including the past month: September...) I took care of my own self, bought my own food and drinks, a monthly Bus card (Jojo), monthly phone credits, a monthly online Educational subscription and even started saving money to study abroad after my summer break.
The only thing I couldn't participate in is paying for home rent with my older brothers.

My parents are currently in Sweden, visiting us. They told me yesterday that they cannot give me a 3000kr allowance anymore because they can't afford it. Plus that I would have to depend on my school CSN, only (1250kr) every month. They suggested that I can do an "Extra CSN paper" to get 3000kr CSN from my school instead.

I responded that it's nearly impossible to live with 1250kr per month... All these priorities I listed before and then buying fresh vegetables and fruits for 30 days, it's impossible. But I'm open to signing the Extra CSN paper, however If some month, I got very sick or came late to school... they can easily stop my CSN, how should I survive then?. My parents answer me with "Your older brothers have a job, you can eat from their food and borrow/use their stuff". They do not understand that my older brothers are also not responsible for me at all.

I can't get a job right now because I'm still studying my last year of gymnasium and I need to focus as much as possible on my education. My school knows that I'm a student that usually gets A`s in most of my subjects but lately my main teacher has been noticing that I'm depressed but she does not know the reason behind it... I do not want to stress every day in school about if I have money to buy food or not when I come home. No one understands how afraid I feel about my future, I hate and want to stop talking about money with my parents because it's distracting me from studying and focusing on my own future.

It's October 24th today and my parents thinking of moving back to Turkey next week... and I do not know what to do. Please answer my questions:

*Should I receive a specific allowance, Lower than 3000kr?
*Are my parents legally, financially responsible for me when I'm 19 years old till studying gymnasium?
*Are my older brothers financially responsible for me when my parents left me living with them? And do they become legally my guardians instead of my parents then?
*Can I contact anyone within Malmö Stad before the 30th of October to solve this problem?

Lastly, I just want to say that due to lack of trust issues with my family, I started a habit of recording conversations on my phone where my parents say all these promises and even acknowledge the physical & emotional abuse they did to me in the past. And even new recordings where I get verbally abused, also my recent conversation with my parents, about my allowance. I started this habit because I was feeling unsafe living with my family at the time and in case I ever need it to protect myself and say that I have proof of everything.

I don't want to report my family about the abuse. Because I still love them no matter what. And I would be more mentally damaged if anything bad happens to them. I just want to get an allowance to survive right now and hopefully save money to move out after summer break and invest in my education, far, far away from my parents.

Please help me and guide me on what I should do and who should I contact. Thank you so much for reading and thank you for your help!

Anonym.

Kommentarer

Hej!

Det låter som att du inte riktigt blir lyssnad på av dina föräldrar.

Dina föräldrar har ekonomiskt ansvar för dig till dess att du fyller 18 år eller till dess du fyller 21 år om du fortfarande går på gymnasiet. Dina bröder är inte ekonomiskt ansvariga för dig.

Varken dina föräldrar eller dina bröder är dina vårdnadshavare då du fyllt 18 år och alltså är myndig och då betraktas som vuxen.

Om dina föräldrar inte tar sitt ansvar är vårt råd att du i första hand kontaktar CSN för att söka ytterligare bidrag. Om de hänvisar till dina föräldrars underhållsskyldighet råder vi dig att vända dig till socialtjänsten som servar det område du är bosatt på.

Om du inte vet vilket område som din adress tillhör kan du få hjälp av kundcentrum i Malmö stad, tel: 040 341000.

Det framgår av din berättelse att du har stora planer för dig själv. Ta en sak i taget så löser sig säkert din situation.

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